I wanted to write a post about my intentions, but recently the season shift has hit me hard. It can be a lot of drastic change and getting used to. Wood collection has been wearing on my muscles… and the weather has been wearing on my psyche.
I was asked yesterday “Why r u there?”, and this was my reply…
“Why am I here? I want to start fixing the world.”
“Why?”
“For the outcome. I want to live in paradise, I might as well start making it”
I ask you, Why are you there?
Peace, Laugh, and Love…
When you arrive at a commune, what do you expect to find?
I bet your first response is not a Library of thousands of books. Oh man, it was like an oasis for academics to walk into a house, go up the old colourful stairs and find Goldman, Marx, Plato, Bakunin, Rand, Kant, Trotsky, Nietzsche, Kafka, de Beauvoir, and the list goes on. From How to Build A Log Cabin to feminist theory literature, the Dragonfly library is a wealth of comprehensive books.
I can’t tell you how much I read last winter. If I pt a number on it, about 30 to 40 books. Oh the amount of interesting culture, ideas, concepts, art,.. It is very much the academics orgasm. I found The Grub. It was a community quarterly magazine with the principal, “we print everything we get.” You can find almost anything you can expect. Political pieces like “How to turn a poor, working class anarchist into a petty bourgeois, fascist landlord in ten easy years” was one of my favourites. Food recipes, poetry and artwork kept this journal active.
The collection on anarchy literature is amazing. When I arrived at Dragonfly I had my prescribed ideas about anarchy. I thought anarchy was the dissolution of the state where freedom is obtained… Shit, I was right on the ball. My next assumption was that life under those principals is brutish and short. Since there is no state, the police cease to exist and everyone would require a gun…. Something like that. I have never read an anarchist which advocated for violence more than a dictator, a democracy, an oligarchy, or a socialist and a communist would. Anarchy, for many theorists is the idea that if people have an issue with one aspect of their society that they are given the right to work collectively to correct it. The thought that people don’t know how to resolve their own problems is an elitist judgement.
Dragonfly Library
I look at my bookshelf now and I am astounded by the amount of literature I went through in the matter of months. I feel like the selection of books would put a persons psyche in a strange purgatory of a direction. I had about 7 or 8 books going at the same time. all on their own topic. Fireplaces to tree identification, bird identification, erotica, fiction, psychedelic encyclopedias, and bee hive operating handbooks.
The first book I sat with was The Anarchist Collectives. It was a great book about the outcome of the Spanish civil war and how several groups of anarchists and socialists started their own communities. It also touched on their practices with money and distribution of goods and the means of production. If you look up the politics of Spain you can find that they have flourished. The East side of Spain, where they have collected, is in the process of separating from the Federal government of Spain because they are not being represented by the government and are holding most of the federal economy together. The main concept that I took from this book was the importance of access to the means of production. Private ownership is a valuable part of being yourself, but being able to use your talents is a valuable part of being able to flourish as a person. It’s a hard problem that people in every society face.
Listen, Little Man! This was a great find. I was going through some video cassettes and found one that read “Lexx 3”. It was a boring, cold night so I threw it in. It started with the credits of Lexx, then the screen went blank for a moment and switched to a Show Case program Red Shoe Diaries. If you know what I’m talking about then you can understand how I was pleased by the surprise. After the episode a really funky documentary came on… I forgot the title. It had a great story about the communist project after WWII that followed the life of Wilhelm Reich, and his founded Orgone Institute, in parallel. I was intrigued. Sexual liberation was a large part in his theories and his Orgone Institute was created to help people relieve deepened sexual tension. That being said, the United States government banned his books, destroyed his orgone generators, and put him in jail where he died. He was very vocal about his work and the extremely oppressive state that was growing within the US.
I told the story about finding this obscure documentary to Leslie, who lives at Mad Beaver and is a member of the Dragonfly community, and she knew all about Reich and offered me a book of his, Listen, Little Man! There is no holding back of the tongue with this text. Reich lays it all out. All of the obscurities of the ‘common man’ and how he lives for servitude. How children are being trained for servitude. And, how people are training themselves for servitude. It’s a direct and straightforward text which is an expression of Reich’s feelings towards the public sphere. A great read for someone who is removing their bonds of servitude.
One of my main influences into starting a medicinal tea company is a book that was found in this library. Brooke has a book called Indian Herbology of North America written by Alma R. Hutchens. This amazing woman created such a comprehensive and simple text for anyone who is interested in South Ontario foraging. She covers all of the indigenous plants, trees, and fungus of the region and how they are used within native American traditions, but also offers information gathered by Russian and folklore traditions. This book has helped so much in understanding medicinal qualities and actions of the forests and fields. This book helped me quickly identify herbs and understand the action that they have on the body. Most herbs that are used as a tea have such a low effect on the body they work slowly, but are very effective with most ailments.
I’m currently reading two books. One of them smacked me in the face… Literally. I was moving a bookshelf from the front porch of the farmhouse and after I cleared it off and made some space for it on the floor, i leaned it towards me and SMACK! Erotica hit me in the face. Anais Nin wrote a collection of short stories with different erotic themes. It’s a great look into passion, perversion, and whatever lies in between. I had some fun thinking about the implications of reading erotica in public. Ha! Little Birds is the title of the book, and it’s great erotic read for men and women. I’ve read erotica before, most men have. But the stuff you find in porn mags… well, it just doesn’t have the literary interest and talent that you get from Anais. It’s also great to read some different sexual interests.
The other book is Pleasure of the Text by Roland Barthes. This one was given to me by Nat. It’s a great look into the responses into writing and reading text. Where does the pleasure lie for the reader? Barthes uses the erotic play in order to compliment the play of language as text. I’m only several pages in, but I enjoy the writing style. And, honestly, who doesn’t enjoy sex analogies when your reading philosophy? I enjoy them.
The Dragonfly library has a diverse selection of books. When I was living with a touch of cabin fever it was one of the things that held my sanity together. I haven’t told you about the archives, and I won’t. I haven’t found the time to check them out. I looked into the room above the kitchen at all of the cabinets and crates of articles, magazines, and more , and thought that it will definitely be a next Winter project.
We are currently in the process of finding a proper system put in place so all of the books are accessible for use. If you are ever interested in checking it out feel free to contact me to see where we are on the project.
We are always accepting donations for the Dragonfly Library in whatever way mean you can give. Any money will be put into a fund which will go into building and buying the infrastructure needed to allow full access to the literary success of this small collective.
Put down the speed, and start to read.
Peter
Yeah, I know. So many people say that same thing, “What is Existential Advice?” And. I will get to that in a bit, but first I want to tell you about how I began to start offering free advice.
In the summer of 2012 I was volunteering at the Lunik Cafe (check it out at Glendon College if you’re in Toronto). A group of friends and I were building a beautiful garden on the back patio. One of my friends was dealing with some issues. I don’t remember the exact details of our conversation, and it really doesn’t matter That’s not what this story is about. We talked and worked, had a few drinks and a few smokes, and after a few hours we were done. The herbs and vegetables had been transplanted, a beautiful gazebo had been built, and my friend had found resolve in her problem. She thanked me and told me that I had given her great advice.
Over the next couple weeks I realized that many of my friends and associates looked to me for ways that they could solve their problems. One friend with an essay, another with relationship woes, one with family problems, and the list goes on.
On a later day, Ashley, a close friend of mine, was visiting for dinner. We were hanging in the sun on the front yard and I began to tell her what I was starting to notice how many people ask me to help resolve their problems. “Have you ever thought about giving free advice?” I laughed at the idea,”What? With a sign walking down the street?” “Well, maybe in a park.” I thought the idea was crazy, and it is. But if there one thing that I have learned about myself it’s that I’m crazy. I told her I would consider it, think about it for a while.
Within the next few days I was at Lunik again. I was employed there as a Physical Spaces Coordinator, I was chatting with Greg and threw the idea about giving free advice in a park. “Do it man!” That’s usually the response I get from Greg. I was still reserved about the idea as Greg was sold on it and started giving me ideas for what to call it. “Advice with Peter”, “Free Advice with Peter”, and “Free Philosophical Advice”. I was still considering whether or not I was going to do it. “What about ‘Free Existential Advice’?” I said. And there it was, I had a name. Several days later I would be sitting in Kensington Market on a beautiful sunny day, with my pipe, in a sarong awaiting a new friend.
Being the resourceful and odd person that I am I decided to paint a thin wood board black, grab a few pieces of chalk, borrow some chairs from a local vendor where my friend Marijke works and began by sitting and waiting. I brought a book with me, I think I was reading Marx, to keep e occupied between clients… Clients? Not really. Customers? Well, I’m not asking for exchange. Let’s call them friends. My first friend was a young man who was dealing with a dilemma. One of the biggest questions that many people have. “How do I know what I’m doing with my life is what I should be doing?” How can I, someone who doesn’t know anything about this person, give him any substantial advice?
The hut I built at OM Fest
What is Existential Advice?
This is what I tell people. I categorize existentialism into two groups of problems/questions; questions of existence, and; questions within existence. The questions of existence are ones like, “Do I exist?”, “Does god exist?”, “Does the physical world exist?”, or “Do other people exist?” I don’t deal with those questions, because I can’t. I can only suppose and use my intuition in order to come to some logical answer. If you would like to think about these questions Rene Descartes in The Meditations on First Philosophy; And the Proof of the Existence of God.
The questions within existence is where the heart of people lives lie. it encompasses all of the problems that you face while you are living. Why are you having problems finding your soul mate? Why are you so happy when other people are sad? Why do you only have long relationships that end in your spouse cheating? Why do you have a hard time getting along with your boss? Why is your friend such an ass to you when he is around women? As you can imagine there are countless questions that could be posed. How would I be able to answer any of those questions without; not being a professional psychologist; not knowing the person I’m talking to, and; the limited amount of time that I have? I can’t, and I don’t.
Now you understand what an existential problem is, and you know that I cannot answer any of your problems… You’re probably asking, “Peter, what the hell do you do?” Well, I ask questions. One of the most important philosophical tools I learned in university was the Socratic Method. The ability to ask questions in order to find a solution is, what I believe, the only tool that a Philosopher, in the strict sense, uses. The term Philosophy has its roots in ancient times and is known to be coined by Pythagoras as a love/desire of wisdom. Socrates, in the Apology, uses this point very precisely. he makes sure to claim that he knows nothing and is in constant search for knowledge. The simple quote “I know that I know nothing” is a hefty paradox, but one that the philosopher would hold to. If I, being a philosopher, make a claim, am I still in search of knowledge?
This is what I do. I ask questions. Many people don’t understand how important it is to ask the right questions in order to find any fundamental truth about anything. All methods of inquiry about everything takes the same approach, but very few look to Socrates for gratitude. Why should they? Well, the only reason why we have discovered so many of the intricacies of existence is because we pondered, not because we asserted.
When you are facing a problem like “Why does my partner treat me without dignity or respect?” The answer that will lead you into a deep cycle of self-degradation is “I must be doing something wrong” or “It must be my fault” or “I must be a bad person, or else they wouldn’t treat me that way.” These may be right assertions, but do they help you at all? Will they help you find some resolve? No. I ask, “Why do you think they are treating you without dignity and respect?” Then maybe, “Are these actions really a sign of disrespect?” And, “What are the situations that you’re in when they treat you this way?” Or, “Why are you partners?” From this point there is a sleuth of questions and answers, until we find some sort of resolution. I will use anecdotes from other great philosophers such as Sartre, Plato, or Nietzsche in order to help the friend discover their resolution. That’s right! I will try my hardest to avoid giving anyone any advice. I don’t know these people, where they live, what their life was like, and what their passions are, so who am I to tell them how to live?
There are a couple things that help me in my dealings with people. I do my best to avoid judging people. If anything I let them judge themselves. I am sensitive to people who wish to keep secrets. Some people aren’t open to disclosing all of their private matters to some stranger in a kilt. I can understand that. Finally, my ability to use personal language. Using terms like “I feel” or “I think” are really important in dealing with personal matters. Using words like “maybe” are also really great for being inclusive.
My Experiences
Where do I do this? Everywhere. I do it with my close friends, in parks, on the transit, at music festivals, and while I’m hitchhiking. Some people have been brought to tears, others to extreme joy. Some leave with a heavy weight of questions to take home with them, ad others have a calm and relieved presence as they go on their way. I’ve had women, men, children, and the elderly approach me with questions and inquiries. I have dealt with people on drugs and people who are drunk. Each one of them has a soul, and if I can touch it, just for a moment, to leave them with something to consider, I’m joyously happy.
The greatest moment I had was when I was at Open Mind (an electronic music festival in Quebec). I was traveling through the labyrinth and ended up at this chill little spot with random people dressed in all types of funky clothes. “PETER!” I heard from the corner of the space. She was so happy to run into me. What felt even better what that she was so grateful of the advice that I gave her in Toronto about 3 weeks earlier. She was having a rough time in the relationship she was in. Her partner constantly made her feel like she was worthless, and she began to believe him. We spent about 3 hours in deep discussion. A lot of tears were shed and a lot of mental barriers were broken.
One thing that was hard to get over was the fact that I usually never see these people ever again. At the beginning I didn’t know whether or not I was helping people. I was worried that I was causing more harm than good. But after a while I discovered that what I was doing was helping, and most of all that people were enjoying it.
If you are ever dealing with someone and you think you might need a little help feel encouraged to speak with me. My belief is that I have to live in a world with all of you, I want to make sure you are doing well because if you’re having fun you are more likely to make fun for me.
Peace, Laugh, and Love…
Yesterday I posted a frustration with some of my female friends actions. Without adding more context I’m just going to post the post:
When does feminism become bullying? Terms like ‘misogynist’ and ‘mansplaining’ have been thrown around by many female friends without consideration for 1. What they truly mean to the other individual; and 2. The verbal abuse that they commit.
A good friend, Gregory Elliott is taken to court because he was annoying. It was claimed that the frequency and the volume of tweets was sufficient for criminal charges. The same women worked on destroying the career of a young professional because of a (yes, inappropriate and offensive) video game which he created.
Where is the line drawn? Do freedom of expression mean anything in relation to someones feelings? Do women really believe that these terms and actions are helping their cause? I remember reading a French Philosophy magazine about the Feminism movement. One of the main points that was driven across was about liberation…FREEDOM. Is that only achievable through oppression and degradation?
If what these women are really looking for is equal opportunity in the world then people like Greg are not the villains. The oppressive and degrading actions and words make you the villains in a battle that we are all fighting.
Peace and love to all women and men
There we have it. This led to many personal attacks and pains brought up. This was a great learning experience for me. First off, I realize the main issue or miscommunication with that post.
Replacing Women I know with Feminism
This is the main issue with the initial post. There are women who are feminists. But what does that really mean. Can I expect a perfectly virtuous character out of a women? Of course not. Just as much as I cannot be expected to have one. And placing my expectations on the females I have relationships with is wrong. Now here come the big one. One should never re[place women, particular women, with feminism. And I did that. I took my own personal relations to women and lumped it into feminism. I apologize for that. What that did was it made my problem into every feminists problem. I apologize for that.
How the post should have read
I, and other men, are being bullied by women who claim feminism. Two terms in particular, ‘misogynist’ and ‘mansplaining’ have been used to control a situation. For Gregory Elliott, his life was torn apart by allegations, just by allegations that it “was the volume,… The frequency of Tweets?” site He had been accused that he was being inappropriate and creepy. I feel like some women don’t understand, or forget, how much it hurts to be verbally abused and to accuse the person of being an objectifier, or an oppressor of the opposite sex.
Freedom doesn’t come through oppression, it comes through love and peace.
The Instigation
Hey… it is a big part of my life to question. What can we learn if we are not in the mode of wanting to learn? The questions I posed are there for many reasons. Mainly that confusion between particular women and feminism as a movement, or thing. But to my account they were questions to engage people in thinking about the future of feminism. Can it take an oppressive role? Or as it was pointed out maybe the loss of privilege is hard to distinguish from oppression.
My Personal Fight
I was raised being abused by women in my family. I have been physically, verbally, mentally, and emotionally abused from a very young age. I grew up being a violent person. It was hard to not know why you are violent, but to keep doing it because that is the only way you know how to defend yourself. What’s worse is that I have always been a strong man, physically and mentally, but emotionally weak. I have been tough that I don’t have any power, and I cannot make a difference. When I was 15 I made a choice. Probably one of the first choices I had as a autonomous person. After an exchanging of words a young man my age punched me in the face. I got up, my blood pulsing through my veins, my eye and nose throbbing, the rage building in my soul, and BAM! It hit me. I paused turned and walked towards the office to see what the damage was and to remove myself fro the situation.
I knew I was angry, and at that moment I knew that I stopped it. I stopped the cycle of abuse. Well it didn’t come to a complete stop, but it was the first pump of the brake or swerve that helped me avoid another collision. The abuse from women that I have suffered hasn’t stopped. Let me make it clear that it has not only been women but men as well have abused me.
Shit I haven’t thought about this part of my past in a while, because I did break that cycle. My last relationship was very abusive, and once i got wind of it I ended it. I was harassed, publicly and privately, afterwards, and I almost lost a sister of my logical family, Tiffany. My ex messed with my head so much that she made me think that I needed to go for some therapy, which I went to. It was helpful but after our third session she said that there was no reason for me to be there. She said that I am pretty good at working out my problems
From then I make an attempt to avoid abusive situations. I will not keep company of those who abuse or oppress me, and if I see it happening I do my best to relieve the tension because I usually recognize that many issues aren’t worth getting angry about. Being offended is usually something that has to be worked out through communication and thoughtful discussion. When someone throws a stone, or a slur, then the cycle of abuse begins.
I posted that post because I was frustrated with the women in my world. I do my best, which I think is pretty damn good, to treat everybody with love, empathy, dignity, and autonomy. I respect their pains as they aught to respect mine…
Peace, Laugh, and Love…
In the beginning god… or there was a ‘BANG’. Wait, I’m not sure what happened at that beginning, and neither are you. This blog on the other hand is a little bit different. In the beginning of this blog I was living on an anarchist collective in a little town called Lake St Peter called Dragonfly. Dragonfly has been seeing a down time where there has been low membership, interpersonal issues, and lack of motivation. My random summer of 2013 left me here with no money, no tools, and no knowledge of living off the land. Since then I have learned to survive one of the worst winters in 15 years, successfully failed at gardening, but with that failure I began a medicinal tea company which I am calling the Dragonfly Tea Company. There is plenty more to tell you about my dealing at Dragonfly, but let us get on to the topic of myself.
In 1984 I was born into a poor family of Toronto, Canada. Then about 19 years of changes occurred where I lived in about 12 different places with my mom. Single mom, only child scenario. Most of the things that I learned were self-taught. In an unstable home that seemed like the best way to occupy myself. Once 19 hit I was out. Free to do as I chose, or so I thought. I’ve lived in my car, in parks, and at friends places. Pretty much anywhere that was comfortable enough for me (I’m pretty easy to please). My first job out of high school was pretty good. I was an apprentice for a transmission repair specialist at a GM dealer. That dealership closed due to fraud and I found myself at a Mister Transmission, a transmission repair chain. My life was okay. I had a cool group of friends, enough money to save some, a car, and my hobbies. Everything was going the way of the blue-collar, which is fine for some, but not for me.
“THIS IS FUCKED UP!” I said amongst my friends. We were all smoking sacrament while watching Everybody Loves Raymond and his voice was so annoying, so bloody annoying. What was even more annoyed was my mind at myself. I wasn’t doing my best, but just doing enough to get by. I stood up and told my friends I had to leave, to think about things on my own. They were shocked and concerned, but there I wasn’t the one that they should be concerned about, it was themselves. At that moment I broke the cycle of uneducated mediocrity.
The next day I went to my old high school and grabbed as many college calendars I could. I didn’t think at the time that I could cut it in University. That night I spent hours highlighting different programs which interested me. About a week later, and after talking about my options with old teachers and college professors, I had made a few final decisions.
Oh, I forgot to tell you. When I was 17 I was waiting for a bus after football practice and started a conversation with a young man and our conversation led us to what he was taking in College, Mechanical Engineering. “What does a mechanical engineer do?” I asked. “You see the garbage can there? Or, the bike passing by? Or, that sweet car? And that airplane in the sky? Engineers design those. and make sure that they will not fail ad hurt people.” I grabbed my bus and that was it.
My final decision…. Mechanical Engineering Technology Design at George Brown College. It was my first choice and my first acceptance.I entered the 3 year program in 2005 and my first stop was to the Student Association. I instantly got involved into student politics which eventually led me to hold the Vice President of Student Life Position for 2 years.
Upon graduation I went on a bike trip to and through California. I had some family there and I wanted to have a new experience. Which was awesome! I swam in the ocean near some dolphins, I climbed the Sierra Nevada for a week solo, listened to the water crashing into Big Sur, and walked along the warm sand in San Diego.
When I returned to Toronto I wasted my time looking for a job in engineering. I found nothing that interested me and when I did find something that was was interesting the employer was racist, sexist, or just a sad soul. I don’t work into slavery, I work out of it.
In 2009 I decided to apply for University and my friend Tiffany (she will pop up on here every once in a while) said that I should go to York University at the Glendon Campus for Political Science… and I did. My first class covered Plato’s Allegory of The Cave. it was my first philosophical topic and ended up being the topic of my final paper. I graduated with an Honours Bilingual Degree in Philosophy and a Certificate in Law and Social Thought. I refused to go to my graduation, and my reason was based of the sheeple principal. At Glendon I helped get the Lunik Cafe going and helped with its operation. Lunik is, what I call, and anarchist cafe. It works by donations and a student levy.
Spring of 2013 was the time of completion. I began by going to electronic music festivals, and the first on my journey was Om Reunion Fest. My main mode of transportation was thumbing it, and that is still my main mode of transportation. That summer Tiffany and I were gearing up to organize the Global March for Peace and Unity. I was finding a niche as a street artist in the city while blasting tunes from my bicycle. The next festival was Open Mind in Quebec. I spend 3 weeks there setting up, repairing machines, and making new and great friends. I left there with a great sense of my intentions in the world and someone I fell in love with.
My last festival was Harvest Festival in Ontario. This was intense! The community was so welcoming and grateful for my presence. Climbing the pyramid was a poetic dance of spins, holds, and gasps of fear. By the end of the festival I was an expert at climbing it. This was the last festival of my 2013 year. It was a great end to all of the new experiences I had throughout the year.
I returned to Toronto for a week to get my stuff ready and packed for Dragonfly. Oh, how I found Dragonfly is another story. Maybe if you ask I’ll post it. On October 2nd I arrived at Dragonfly, and here is where a new chapter has begun…
Peace, Laugh, and Love…
Peter
Anarchy On The Land 